A Tiny Idea: Part II

Getting Your "Stuff" Under Control

In Part I of the "A Tiny Idea" series, I discuss benefits of smaller homes.  Reaping these benefits will require streamlining your possessions -- you can't live a simple life with a bunch of excess stuff!  This post focuses on getting rid of stuff, not finding sneaky ways to cram it into less space :)

What is minimalist living and why should I care?  

Minimalism is alleviating yourself from things you don't use or need to create a simplified environment.  It is living lightly, without a preoccupation with material things.

Minimalism means different things for different people: it's not determined by an absolute number of possessions but rather your relationship to them.  Minimalist living isn't sparse or boring; on the contrary, it allows your uniqueness to shine because you only have things that you love and that reflect the best of you.

If your belongings are ones that are truly essential, highly functional, and personally meaningful, then you are a minimalist.

Intentionally adopting a minimalist lifestyle allows you to enjoy what is most important.  

Benefits include:

• Lower stress
• Easy to organize & keep up with belongings.  Moving and cleaning are easier.
• Everything you own has a specific and unique purpose -- no decision paralysis 
• No excessive consumption of resources
•  Why growing cotton for clothes is so bad for the environment
• Less expensive 
• Room for things you really care about - no extraneous stuff to distract you & hog space
• Benefits others: donate to those who need it

Visit http://mnmlist.com/minimalist-faqs/ to learn more

The psychology of a pack rat: Why do we hang on to things?

In order to streamline your life, it is helpful to understand why we are attached to material objects, even those that don't serve us.  Our preoccupation with such things reflects not our essential needs, but our emotions and insecurities.

What emotions anchor our resistance to part with nonessential things?

1) Fear of needing it at some point.  A common barrier to de-cluttering is the thought, "I might need it some day so I'll just keep it."  This reasoning encourages us to latch onto more stuff out of uncertainty and fear of regretting our decision to de-clutter, when in all likelihood we'll never need the stuff.  The truth is, once you get rid of the unnecessary things you will only regret having kept them around for so long!

A variation of this fear is struggling to get rid of items that have definite utility value in your life but that you have too much of or no desire to actually use (I confess, I hoard little bottles of hotel shampoo and conditioner even though I prefer other products and have plenty of them already.  Now I have a box of shampoo that I haven't used in 2 years...).

Another example: I have a nice cookbook of "101 ways to make chicken".  I rarely eat chicken-based meals but who knows, tomorrow I might want to try one of those recipes!

The Remedy.  Ask yourself -- if there ever came a time when you really needed the item, how easy would it be to buy it again?  Is it something you use only a few times a year that you could borrow or just do without?  Do you have another item that could serve a similar function?

Solution: Copy a few recipes into a Word document and use recipe sites online.  Donate the book.  Get rid of excess shampoo (I donated most of it to a shelter) or use it as soap because I have less of that.

Note: There are some items that we use infrequently but have good reason to hang on to.  I have bulky snow pants that I use solely when shoveling snow -- which is only a few times each winter -- but none of my other clothes will suffice for the job.  If I had multiple snow pants or no longer needed to shovel snow multiple times per winter, then those pants would be sent out the door.

2) Avoiding a sunk cost.  Have you ever held on to a broken item long after you should've just thrown it out?  It seems silly but it happens.  Why?  Because we can't bear the mental anguish of a sunk cost; i.e., an investment that we felt did not get a fair return.  So we justify keeping the item by telling ourselves we'll eventually fix it.

Example: One of my favorite shirts suffered a huge rip. I kept it, intending to sew something out of it. The shirt was too nice to throw out!

The Remedy.  Ask yourself seriously if you will fix or repurpose the item (then do it now).  While it's awesome if you are able to restore the item and use it again, many times we overestimate our attachments and need to accept that the object is a lost cause.

Solution: When I moved 8 months later and hadn't touched the shirt since it ripped, into the garbage it went.

3) Regret that the item has not served us fully.  "I should get more use out of it" -- Many times we fail to let go of something because we feel we haven't gotten our money's worth or we regret that something in fine condition should 'go to waste'.

In this case, your options are a) make an effort to use the item, b) find a new function for the item (repurposing), c) get rid of it  d) stuff the item deeper into your closet  >> haha NO.

My examples: Expensive shirt that I wore once; Starbucks coffee I got as a gift (I don't drink coffee).

The Remedy.  If you haven't used the item in a year or more, are you likely to ever need it?  No matter how expensive or perfect the thing is, it's not doing any good taking up space in your house if you are not using it.

Solution: Take shirt to consignment store (make some $$); use coffee in a dessert recipe and give the rest to roommates

I repurposed an unworn yet sentimental scarf as decoration

3) Longing for the past.  For instance, refusing to get rid of:

-- Items from a certain time in your life that are unlikely to be needed again (e.g., kids' toys; maternity clothes)
-- Items that don't serve you and merely remind you of a person, place, or event (e.g., a deceased family member's belongings; pointless travel souvenirs; old sports uniform)

My example: Cocktail dresses from my sorority years.  I like them and they bring back fond memories, but I don't need that attire now.

The Remedy.  Ask yourself if the object illustrates who you are today -- not who you were in the past.  Again, utility is key: if you aren't using it and it's not improving your present life, it is clutter taking up your physical space and mental energy.  Try to limit items that are purely sentimental -- in having less, your appreciation will grow.

Solution: Kept 2 of my favorite dresses for special date nights.  Donated the rest.

4) Desiring for the future.  Examples:

-- Keeping clothes that are too small in hopes they will inspire you to achieve a certain body ideal
-- Keeping baby items because you might have kids or grandkids one day
-- Having lots of glamorous shoes or jewelry, hoping for more occasions to show it off even though you rarely attend formal events.

My example: Storing books I wasn't very interested in.  But I should save them until I have more time to read and a house to display them in, right?

The Remedy: Ask yourself if the object serves who you are today -- not who you want to be or might be in the future.  Don't let a fuzzy forecast determine your present well-being.

Solution: Sell books at a used book store.  Use the library more instead of buying books.  

5) Worrying over disappointing yourself or others

In order to gain control over your possessions you must realize that your relationship with certain objects does not necessarily reflect your relationship to people who might be connected to those objects.  If you are keeping excessive stuff based on your beliefs about others' expectations, it's not a service to anybody.

My example: For years I carted around yarn slippers my great-grandmother made for me when I was younger.  Even though I didn't wear them anymore, I felt guilty at the thought of throwing them out.

Solution: Realize that keeping the slippers is not a reflection of honor on my great-grandmother and that I was not a bad or ungrateful person for getting rid of them.

6) Indecision over how and when to get rid of stuff

Even if we get past the previous roadblocks and are committed to disowning something, there is a big difference between wanting to be free of stuff and actually getting rid of it.  This is because society conditions us to concentrate on losses, gains, and the monetary value of our material assets.  This mindset makes it difficult to accept getting rid of stuff even if it's stuff we don't want!

My example: The following thoughts crossed my mind when I was sorting through clothes to get rid of:  "These are too good to just give away...should I try to sell them?  Maybe dig up some more stuff and organize a garage sale?"  

The Remedy: While it is smart to capitalize on your de-cluttering process, is your space, time, and sanity worth the extra effort listing items for sale or organizing a garage sale?  Of course, if you have items that are worth a good deal then the reward-to-effort ratio is better and it makes more sense to sell those items at a premium.  But for your average spring cleaning of clothes and household items, you must accept that you're not going to get back what you paid so you might as well free yourself from the burden as soon as possible.

Solution: I came to terms with the fact that although having a garage sale or consigning my clothes would be more profitable, it had not happened and was unlikely to ever happen. So off to Salvation Army without a second thought.  

Notice anything interesting about those 6 psychological barriers to relinquishing our attachments to possessions?  They are all rooted in negative states -- fear, avoidance, regret, longing, desire, worry/guilt, indecision.  If you can identify and minimize the objects in your life that are thriving on such states, you will experience greater day-to-day happiness as well as overall clarity when it comes to what is truly important in your life.

We were suffocating in our stuff

What happens when you let stuff take over you 

When we moved out early this August, my roommates and I filled (overflowed, actually) an entire dumpster.  A lot of it was old mattresses, expired food, and garbage other people had left behind, but still it was astounding to see how much *crap* accumulated in a house after just a few years.

Even after the initial purge (ahem, trauma), as I unpacked I produced 3 more bags to donate, a large box for consignment, and a bag full of trash.  There is nothing like moving to motivate minimalism!

Questions to ask yourself to get rid of clothes you don't need

As I was unpacking after the move, I researched tips to help me streamline my wardrobe.  Here are a compilation of the questions I found helpful for reducing stuff that was weighing me down.

1) Does it fit well?  

This is easy - if it doesn't fit at this very moment (and you aren't willing to invest in having it tailored), there is no reason to hang onto the item no matter how expensive it was or how much (or little) you've worn it.  If your weight tends to fluctuate, consider investing in outfits that will fit comfortably and look flattering even if you lose or gain a few pounds.

2) Does it look good on me and do I feel comfortable in it?

This question should be considered as seriously as "does it fit well?"  If you don't love it and feel good in it, consider finding it a new home.  Clothes that you constantly have to adjust are probably not worth the trouble.

3) Are there rips/stains/yellowing/missing buttons/broken zippers, etc?  Am I willing to fix such problems if the item is in good condition otherwise?

Clothes only last so long.  If it seems worn, outdated, or in poor condition to you, it probably looks downright yucky to everyone else.

4) Have I worn it within the past year?  

If all the seasons have passed and you still haven't used it, this is a sign you probably don't need it.

5) If I found this item at a decent price in a store, would I buy it?

This is a good question to ask yourself for weeding out clothes that are "just ok" or that are getting to the end of their lifespan.  If you wouldn't 're-buy' the item, it's time for it to go.

6) Do I have duplicate items or multiple items that accomplish the same function?  If yes, get rid of most of the extras.


If you're hesitant about parting with an item but it fails to meet your retention criteria, create a "maybe" box that will be stored out of sight.  If you find yourself going into the box for something, you may want to bring that item back into your regular clothes rotation.  But after a few months, it's time to get rid of anything left in the "maybe" pile!

My wardrobe is still far from minimal but it feels good to have the stuff I wasn't wearing gone.  I do not regret donating even one thing.  Now I am better organized and have more space for the clothes I like and wear frequently.



Missed Part I of "A Tiny Idea?"  Access it here

A Tiny Idea: Part I

Part I: Downsized dwellings

A tiny house is a small home often built on a trailer and typically between 100-400 sq. feet

I recently became inspired by the tiny house movement.  After a lot of researching, I decided that I want to build my own tiny house as well as cultivate the perspectives and values shared by many who choose this way of life.

To me, a home represents rootedness, connections, independence, and identity.  Designing your own home lets you customize the living environment to your needs, maximizing your efficiency and comfort every day.  It also lets you experience the psychological benefit of being connected to a space that you created and that matches your lifestyle perfectly.  I believe that one's immediate physical environment has a huge impact on emotions, productivity, and overall well-being (there's research to support this!).  So I want my home to resonate with my preferences and ideals.  A tiny house would allow me to achieve this harmony.

Why tiny?

I have always enjoyed browsing house plans online and thinking about the different layouts and features I'd want in my own house.  My favorite plans included a spacious open layout, cathedral ceilings, and specialty elements such as a giant hearth or sunroom with greenhouse windows.  However, the cost-to-build price estimates for such houses were well beyond my means -- not to mention that big pricey properties typically come with high taxes and utility bills.

I soon became interested in smaller, simpler, 'greener' designs and eventually discovered the concept of tiny houses.  The best part is that even these fun-sized houses can include larger-than-life features, including some on my wish list.  For example, a gas cast iron stove that is used to heat a tiny house embodies the same function as a hearth in a larger house while maintaing aesthetic appeal.  It's also easy to incorporate luxury finishes in a tiny house: high-end flooring, countertops, windows, etc. may be more feasible to include because there is less space to cover!

Tiny Living Means:

• Life simplification - less consumerism & unnecessary "stuff", more enjoyment from what you do have
• Environmental consciousness - uses less natural resources
• Community involvement (tiny house community & local community)
• More time - less space to clean and maintain...since I'm an compulsive cleaner this is a great benefit
• More money - costs less to build; minimal heating/cooling/electricity costs
• Fiscal responsibility - affordable living, not going into huge debt
• Opportunity to strengthen relationships with family
• Gaining practical skills.  Exercising mental skills, e.g., resourcefulness, creativity
• Various freedoms and miscellaneous benefits (potential to relocate the house, freedom from landlords, possible to live off-grid, may permit a career change or reduction in work hours, may encourage travel and exploring activities outside the home)

I don't see one compelling reason why not to go small!  

In my next post of this series I'll talk about minimalism; specifically, how getting rid of clutter and excess things can make you happier and specific tips for getting rid of stuff that's weighing you down

Seven Secrets to the BEST BED EVER!

Simple tips to achieve a beautiful, comfortable bed 

The infamous pottery barn bed…doesn't it make you feel relaxed?  But, no "real" beds look like this, right?  Guess what – with just a few tricks and tips, your bed CAN look professionally-designed.

This was my bed before:

One day I decided my bed needed a make-over and began researching how to "make my bed look good".  Soon I came across this bit of advice from Tricia Rose of Rough Linen:

"Virtually any bed looks beautiful if it has a woman lying naked in it, on her side, seen from behind, with a sheet carelessly draped across her bottom."

...Interesting, but unfortunately for me that's not sustainable.  So I kept researching.  The more I learned, the more I realized how applying a few tidbits of knowledge can make a big difference.  At the end of this post I'll show you how I transformed my sad old bed into something awesome.

1) Perfect beds have solid foundations. 

The best beds start with the best foundations – the little things that you don’t immediately get excited about or even notice, but ultimately contribute to comfort and style.

Bedskirt.  This hides the “ugly” underneath the bed and is a great way to tie in colors from other parts of your bed or bedroom décor.  It’s amazing how much more polished your bed will look just by adding a good bedskirt.  Make sure you iron it beforehand and that the material is dense.  For tips on choosing a bedskirt, click here.

This coordinating bedskirt contributes to a neat, tailored look.

A white or ivory bedskirt is versatile.  Ruffles impart a whimsical or feminine flair.

Mattress.  Mattress shopping can be overwhelming, and because different stores have different labels for the same mattress, it’s tough to comparison shop.  Invest in a quality mattress and take the time to research your options.

A Saatva Mattress, which is affordable, eco-friendly, and sold online. 

Mattress topper (memory foam or featherbed).  This gives your mattress extra plushness and helps achieve that "wanna-dive-in-right-now!" look that showroom beds have.  Some mattresses come with a padded pillowtop layer sewn-in, which sounds great unless the material starts to compress and break down before the rest of the mattress wears out.  The solution?  Get a non-pillowtop mattress (or one with a thin pillowtop layer) and add a featherbed or memory foam topper based on what feels best to you.  A topper can also add comfort to an older mattress or increase the lifespan of a new one.

Mattress protector.  This is a thin (ideally waterproof) layer that fits snuggly around your mattress.  Its purpose is to protect everything underneath.  ALWAYS use a mattress protector!  Your fitted sheet won’t keep sweat, body oils, skin cells, etc. from seeping down into the mattress, feeding all the dust mites that live in there and weakening the upholstery.  If your mattress is stained in any way it usually voids the warranty so cover that baby up! 

Alright, now for the fun part!

Secret 2) Thread count isn’t all that matters. 

    

   You’ve heard that high thread count makes for the best sheets but there’s much more to consider.  The quality of the fiber content, weave type, and finishing techniques all play a role in the feel of your sheets.  Above 300 thread count, higher isn’t always better; in fact, a very high thread count can mean that a) thinner threads were used, which will result in a less-durable product, or b) the manufacturer is counting the fibers that make up the threads, so an "800 thread count" sheet is really much less.   Plus, cramming in a lot of threads can result in a stiff and less breathable product (think denim jeans).

     Pima (Supima) and Egyptian are long staple varieties of cotton, meaning they’ll be softer, wear better, and less likely to pill than inferior, short-staple cotton (often denoted by sheets labeled as just “cotton”).  Avoid sheets that are mostly or all polyester – this manmade fiber won’t absorb moisture or breathe as well as natural ones, leaving you feeling clammy.  

     Pure linen is a prized material for bed sheets, and sheets made of linen can last a lifetime unlike those made of other textiles.  Linen is temperature regulating, strong, absorbent, and environmentally-friendly (click to learn more).  High-quality linen feels soft yet textured and gets even better with age.  Linen's reputation for excessive wrinkling is much undeserved.  Sheets made of bamboo fibers can also be very comfortable, boasting high breathability like linen but with a silkier hand initially.

Pure linen sheets and duvet cover from Rough Linen

If you choose cotton sheets, which are the most popular and accessible, there are several weave types that will impact how the sheets feel.  Sateen weave gives the fabric smoothness and luster.  A percale weave produces a matte finish and helps keep you cool. 

Many cotton and cotton-poly blend sheets, especially those claiming to be “wrinkle resistant” or “no-iron”, are treated with formaldehyde and other chemicals during the finishing process.  Choose sheets that are Oeko-Tex certified (available at some specialty retailers) for environmentally-friendly bedding free of harmful substances.  

Designers recommend white sheets because they look fresh and stylish and they go with everything.  Pull the flat sheet up to the head of the bed, then fold the top edge back about 1/3 of the way for a crisp look. 

I like Garnet Hill’s Supima flannel sheets, which are the coziest, yummiest flannel I’ve come across.  The quality of flannel can be indexed by the fiber content (again, those made with long-staple cotton will feel better and last longer) and weight, measured in ounces per square yard.  Anything above 5 oz is considered good quality.

 

Secret 3) Know your bedspread options

Textured rouching on this bedspread is elegant and romantic

     The showstopper for many beds is the bedspread.  A bedspread generally refers to all bed coverings, especially those that extend past the mattress and even down to the floor.  A comforter has a layer of thick padding sewn inside a decorative cover, which cannot be removed.  A duvet is meant to be used inside a duvet cover, which is like a giant pillowcase and can be removed for washing by undoing the buttons or ties at one end.  The duvet is usually filled with down (fluffy under-feathers from geese or ducks) or synthetic filling, although other materials may be used.  

Rustic duvet from Rough Linen

   Quilts are another option for a bedspread, providing medium warmth and a classic look.  Quilts have a layer of batting in between two layers of fabric, whereas coverlets are usually only 1 layer and non-reversible.  In summer or hot climates, a coverlet or lightweight cotton blanket may be all that is needed.

The bold, contemporary look of this quilt is softened by a timeless ruffled bedskirt.

Secret 4) High fill power down 

To get that really plush look that characterizes magazine-worthy beds, you should invest in a down comforter.  Down is graded based on fill power, which relates to its loftiness or ability to trap air.  Higher fill power down takes up more space per ounce, trapping more air and making it extremely light, lofty, and warm.  For example, 800 fill power down will keep you warmer and look much fluffier than the same amount of 600 fill power down.  While the weight of the down (number ounces in the comforter) determines how warm it is, fill power determines its lightness and loftiness.  High fill power down is also more durable, as the down clusters are larger and more robust to breakage.  Click here to learn more about down.

One trick that decorators use on showroom beds is stuffing the duvet cover with two duvet inserts!  While this is too impractical and hot for actual use, you can get a similar effect by using a high fill power down duvet.  And yes, higher fill power does mean a higher price tag, but it is an investment that will last many years. 

Secret 5) Use a bolster 

A bolster is a cylinder-shaped cushion that fills the awful space between the mattress and headboard where the pillows sink down.  It props up your pillows, gives you a firm support for laying back against, and the best part is you just wedge it in and forget about it!

Secret 6) It's all in the accent  

       Accent pillows in complementary colors weave together the look of the bed and set the focal point.  A bold or funky piece that stands out but fits in with the overall look of the bed or bedroom as a whole will add dimension and interest.  Accent pillows come in a variety of shapes and sizes and are a fun way to personalize your bed and experiment with different textures and patterns.  They also come in handy for providing extra back or neck support while reading in bed. 

Click here for more ideas for arranging pillows

When choosing colors, consider the 60-30-10 rule of design: your main color should constitute 60% of the room (e.g., walls, sheets, furniture) and is usually a light color.  The secondary color would comprise 30% of the room.  The accent color should be about 10% of the room’s color scheme (e.g., a pillow, decorative items).  The accent color is often very rich or bright, like the teal and orange in the room pictured.  

Secret 7) Beds have layers

A layered bed is an inviting, well-structured bed.  A full or queen bed is typically layered with 2 queen-size shams (or Euro shams, which are large and square-shaped instead of rectangular), 2 sleeping pillows, and 1-3 accent pillows.  Top off the bed with a cozy quilt, coverlet, or throw blanket (folded in half or thirds) at the end of the bed for a designer look.  Often it’s best if this piece coordinates with the other colors in the bedding, but a brightly-colored throw can jazz up an otherwise plain and neutral look.

Check out this post for more about layering the bed, particularly how to divide your bed into thirds for an attractive and balanced look.  Or follow this link to read about how to coordinate the patterns in your pillows, duvet cover, and sheets like the professionals do (see picture above).  And here is an easy, step-by-step tutorial for layering a well-dressed bed.

You have the tools to create a bed you'll love to look at as much as you love to sleep in!  

Below is my very own new and improved bed.  The leopard pillow found a happy home on my papasan chair :)

OxiClean White Revive!

Behold the Magic of Oxiclean White Revive!  

These are ivory-colored bed sheets that turned remarkably dingy after only a year of use.  On the left is the sheet that was washed with OxiClean White Revive (pre-soaked for half an hour).  What a difference after only one treatment!  And the sheets even seemed softer than normal.

OxiClean White Revive also saved a pair of white fleece gloves that I had spilled dark balsamic vinegar on...the stains were completely gone after a regular wash!  There is hope for all those dull, dingy, or stained clothes out there!